This is the worst part of the day ...

Dear Diary ,

This is the most grueling part of the day. It was around this time that I was at barnes and noble that day when the cops tried to arrest those two individuals. Yesterday after therapy wasnt that bad it was actually a good day. So I gather all of esteem to ask My brother about his live in girlfriend and asked if the fact that her very presence disturbed me would push her out . I honest and so was he and said that it didnt and since I have no where else to go , I ll just have to take the program longer . although I do think its complete bullshit that I cant have a sense of peace or a place I can have peace. So my inner child feels neglected wounded and abandoned still or even more so.He said it wasnt fair to his girlfriend, even after the fish incident and he lives the back house and is always up in the front where I am . Its bothersome and I wish my mother could do something however what was pointed out in therapy is that she has never had to step in as the protective mother before so she wouldnt know how to do it today .So thats out and so is mother things dont much change here on the weekend , I guess half of my affliction is a result of over -boredom . Yes, I am so over-bored with life , its hard to get the energy to start all over from what seems like less than scratch . I am a little a upset I dont have more emotional support my mother is half in half out most of time about this anyway i guess is she ashamed she allowed her daughter to be taken advantage of or maybe not since she allows Jackie to live here , she doesnt know her the way I do so I guess she is okay . For all those praying for me thank you and please continue to do so.