So the obsession with my others has to seize. If they are not here it is for a very good reason even though I cant conceive of one right now . Otherwise, I get so lonely and depressed . Owen wilsons new movie is just coming out and that is still a pinch on a worked nerve . I wonder why all those men stayed here and left one by one? Doesn't make sense , however I dont have the full facts. On any side of what happened . I had my therapy today and the therapist suggested volunteer work . Something I can get up everyday and look forward too. But at once I had peace with my self and my station in life. In August I was fine then it all went down hill after that plus the holidays are harder for some reason . Also I cant control them so the others so why worry about it . I mean I really cant the last i heard of them was being in Mexico .Which makes me wonder will it have to be till 2012 till I see my angels again? If so I dont think I can bare it . I need my faith right now to believe and keep trusting in God. JUst the anxiety of being alone gets to me . It hurts and its hard to bare . I wish I hadn't had that boy over
Now I have an anxiety that is just worst , I wish I could cry this boy in therapy suggested it to the group but I cant cry its elusive . but I really want to I want an ocean of tears to flow from me , until I feel cleansed . I continue to ask for help and ask those who believe in God to pray for me.
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