Well I have to say that the holidays were quite pleasant. Christmas eve...I got a lil typsy . However it was soon followed several days of loneliness and depression . All I could do was sleep all day . I wasted three days sleeping . I started thinking about all the time I've wasted this year on seemingly foolish endeavors not using my time correctly and most of the year I spent sick . Healing from the fight , then almost going blind from diabetes and then freaking out a touch at the end of the summer . I have come along way in a few months . I will be starting school soon and cant wait for the mental stimulus. I have decided to pack on a couple of more things in my life and cant wait to see the convergence and synergy that 'll show up in life. I have given all hope of ever seeing anyone anytime soon I know my others that helped me in that fight that night are still out there . Probably preparing me for 2012 or something. Dealing with the memories of my pass I find my self restless and wanting to find expression for my surpressed anger .
For instance I had some shelves that needed dismantling I tuned my ipod to heart shaped box and wailed on the fucken thing about half a dozen swings later it was laying in pieces in the recycle bin . It felt so good to put my mind in that mindset and expell all of your energy on it . At the end my lungs opened up and my back eased a little . I felt cleaner .
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