Well I have just started school and both classes that are back to back Thank God are in the same room with the same professor . YEsss!!! Its sounds pretty mellow and both on subjects I find great interest abnormal psychology and human sexuality . All the perverted questions that have developed in my mind since all of this began seem a little overwhelming. Ish is being a bit of a dick , because his work didnt form to his schedule . So he has to quit one or the other , insolent rage and anger never made much sense to me if youre pissed get angry at the person youre mad at . Well I havent had much memories retrieved since the last time I posted. Mothers frustrated as to where she will find money for our books , please that we able to make it to get them please. I want to get to my center of spirituality more deeply . I havent done yoga in a year I think I 'll go back to it.Sometimes I think of Greg and I get pissed, sad and depressed . the very chance that I could of had with him stings a little less everyday . In reflection Greg ( Dave Grohl) had to put his( like most men in hollywood) wants and needs first and often played the hurt romantic, love's martyr , and the desperate poet .For instance he came into town one time and hunted me down at the local hot spot called the green house . Since , he always showed up three other chicks he was fucking , and of course Anthony and Axel always had to come and could never leave me alone .And like much of you I am not found of getting raped so I was cordial but distance. Well I had to leave early that night because I had work in the morning . Well right before I left they caught me in the parking lot and David (greg) slammed into me with his fists called me a bitch . I screamed and some guys came helped me up my brother came out side and helped me up and I went home .The people who through the weekly get togethers called the police and they had to deal with them . The to get back at me they all gang raped me . So greg yeah he was a dick however , no one should of ever stepped in the way of what his heart wanted( as long as it was legal/moral) .
My therapist says I need to learn how to forgive but its hard after all the intrusions and violations that have occurred I dont know how to begin . Understanding the perversion helps my therapist says that is incidental . I think its not , shes not god and there are more than one to forgive . I believe she thinks I am intrigued by it and my need to understand is just morbid curiosity .
tremors along the shore , should I let them in once more ?
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