Today I have different feelings combating each other . I made an excursion last night and my mother was greatly pissed . And honestly with good reason. Alot of what happened to me here was caused by some of the people I have spoken about but mainly with a group of people I used to hang out with . They spread vicious rumors about me and even sought my death . Then formed a group called the picket fence cartel , who devised plans just to be as vicious to me as possible. Such as poisoning my drinks , sabotaging certain events I tried to do. ( dancing performances, stand-up nites , clubbin' , breaking into my house, stealing my clothes, etc.,) Well now I have a diabetes and a heart condition and have gained at least 50 lbs because of these people ( mainly girls fighting for the affection of the celebrities in town ). Basically they tried to rape my life of all vitality and dignity. And these two boys where from that pack , that I went out with .
Now I did miss them , maybe I rolled with them two many times or maybe they wrecked my life so much I was curious to see what was of there's . They both said they have been through alot this past couple of years and both swore with conviction , that they would not change or redo anything over . Which includes what they have seen and been involved with personally . The things that have happened to me because of them , they have little if no remorse . This is depressing, but it is honest.I think it might of been to soon to go out .Truth is I am lonely and I wish I had more people to talk to , I wish I didnt feel so insecure , or like damaged product .Somehow maybe I was hoping for an apology , but I must always remember they did what they did out of the name of fun.
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