Grrrr RAwr!!!!

I had a nice weekend planned but it turned into bunk. For about the pass eight months I have been going through this post traumatic memory retrival . Where the memories of past traumatic memories begin to resurface. and both thursday and friday night where full of awful memories . I had a dream that Dr. Swaney was still alive and he came like back from the dead to yell and scream at me for the suffering he is having to endure in hell. It gave me chills and it made it hard to go to school that day so I didn't end up going. Inside my head is where all of this crap is still alive. Still raping and beating my inner child . I recalled one memory where I was 3 years old and was held captive . Where I was made to wear a dog collar and given newspaper to live on . There I ate shat slept and pissed . They made sure to always have my make-up on , bright red lipstick and my hair done like souxie Q . The collar was so tight I had headaches from trying to breathe . This man named known as George Michael made me drink his piss. I was choked, rapped , beaten and starved . I have remembered several other memories where I was kidnapped and force to have sex with several grown men . I was only three years old and I remember it with a panic . These horrible thoughts fill my head and I just want to castrate all of my old abusers . They dont even deserve to have pricks to piss out of as far as I am concerned . The countless children that had to endure this sends waves of fear through my body . And then my thoughts wonder to my father I have heard stories on what they had done to him before killing him (kurt cobain) all because he wanted to stop the touching . A horrible wound reopens when I confront this memories especially about my father , and all I wanted was the killing to stop and now greg(dave grohl )is dead and I cant imagine the pain they must have put him through.