...."Because I think I have heard rants like this before Axe..I mean Millhouse!" By this time these men, who told me all to call them daddy, had started molesting me ritualistically. Yet they managed to keep it spratical enough to reinforce the idea that it could happen at any time. That was the intent, at least. They believed me to be stupid as they looked upon all hispanic people . Because at this point , they no longer believed me to be "their" so called "friend's" natural child anymore. They believed at this time that I was my "adoptive" fathers natural born child. A mexican-immigrant whose ethnical background included native-american and arabic descent. They begun calling me a spic because by now , they had begun to reveal their racist nature. These were the times I thought I was closest to death. Millhouse ( whom the nation later knew to became Jon Stewart) was about 60% or.... let me see given the conversion... blah blah 2/3rds hispanic. He was the product of inter-breeding, this is still Texas ..after all . He was losing his shit, calling me a spic..again!
"Why do you , have to make things so hard for men...MONIQUE" He didn't mean just them but men in general. He was screaming . His face bended and contorted as he shouted at me. I felt someone began to fondle my ass and try to masturbate me with his fingers. Silent tears rolled down my face. I turned barely slightly just to see who it was. He began screaming louder. At this age they started threatening me,so I wouldn't move my head if Millhouse was ever speaking to me. I saw him, it was cousin Buscemi. At the time he had long hair and a mustache , I used to confuse him for Greg (Dave Grohl ) . I was raw, his slight touch made me ache. He pulled his hand back in disgust . I thought it was just sweat but my asshole had been bleeding. The sight struck terror in him.
"WHAT THE FUCK ..." he said as he leap to his feet " ...what are you doing to baby fuckers!" Millhouse was so pissed , his jaw dropped. No one was supposed to ever interrupt him, when he was yelling at me . Steve exposed his hand to his "brother". Millhouse laughed it off. He turned back to me and began yelling again " I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF IT HURTS YOU MONIQUE.." I was crying and breathing heavily. I already felt sub-human, humiliated, and worthless. Why did he think I cared what he thought?
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
9 years later
I am twelve years old and sitting on the examing table . Dr. Swaney had taken a break from giving me a "tongue lashing" to cry. "MONIQUE!!!" he screeched through gritted teeth . Nobody else was on the floor, I wandered why he had made me wait to be the last person . Just his head nurse was there. My mother, around ten, had begun dropping me off at the hospital by myself , so it was just me in the doctor's office. He was ranting and I started losing interest. " Monique..Monique ...LOOK AT ME !!" He started yelling. I had no idea what the hell he wanted . I remember being confused and pissed . I was so tired of this man at this point. He banged hard on the wall beside him, as if to punch through it. It drew no reaction from me. "Why dont you try to do that to me?" he said as if we wanted to weep again.
" Do what?"
"What you just told me ?? About your MOTHER!!??? ARE YOU BEING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!! WHAT IS IT MONIQUE !!!" I breathed in deeply and knew if I remained relaxed so would he, at least, to a certain extent. " What am I doing to my Mother?"
He turned around and began banging his fist against a mirror hovering over a sink.
"Your trying to figure her out and why she's so MEEEAAAAN to you."
Still confused I spoke " yes I wonder ."
"WHY DONT YOU WORRY AND WONDER ABOUT MEEEE ...like that??" He said weeping on the verge of collapse.
" I guess.."[.. What the hell was he doing and why dont I care..]" I guess.... because I have heard rants like this one before ?" [ How did I know to say that??] I rubbed my bald head .I was sweating from the pressure. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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